Adding another calendar event to my schedule

As of late I have been feeling the guilt of not spending ALL of my free time doing something at church. I thought that isolating myself at church, with only church members and doing activities from the church calendar would help fill a void. Add to that, my single parent responsibilities and work duties. I rush to get to church on time and I'm sleepy while the sermon is going on. Which means, I'm not getting any message into my heart. Regrettably I'm happy that the Shabbat/Sabbath gets here so that I can sleep. I remember when I studied my bible with my children at home, had a bible study group at my home and shared with people online... I felt Yeshua guiding me. Somehow I lost my way into the legalistic way of praising our G-d. Which is not really praising or loving my G-d. I am stepping back to my more private bible study so that I will have real rejuvenation with our Lord Yeshua on the Shabbat. I miss him being in my life guiding and loving me.